


The Wayfaring Boy

by iimplicitt



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst, Brotherhood, Dark Magic, Death Rituals, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Eventual Romance, Evil, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Issues, Friendship, Good Tom Riddle, Gryffindor, Gryffindor/Slytherin Inter-House Relationships, Hate to Love, Hufflepuff, Immortality, Magic, Magical Realism, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Murder, Mystery, Oxford, Professor Tom Riddle, Ravenclaw, Regulus Black Deserves Better, Regulus Black Lives, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slytherin, Team Bonding, Tom Riddle is Not Voldemort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23355142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iimplicitt/pseuds/iimplicitt
Summary: Sirius Black was one of Oxford's most promising students up until his third year. Raised by one of the most elite families, that didn't deter him from succumbing to a life laced with alcohol and drug abuse. Some might say he's thrown his life away. However, a second chance was offered to him in the form of a girl. He's offered a position at one of Oxford's secret societies. Their four houses are the well-known landmarks of powerful forces and influence, but their occult ways are more sinister than anyone could've bargained for. A house, though unknown which, has been tampering with forbidden magic that would make mother nature gnarl her teeth... immortality. They may be trying to overcome death, but in the process they prey on the living.
Relationships: Evan Rosier/Original Female Character(s), James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black & Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. THE WAYFARING BOY

**Also by iimplicitt**

_Hierarchy of Need_

_Cynicus_

_To_ _An_ **** _Unsolicited_ **** _Mind_ ****

_Devil's Quay_   
  
  


To all my lovely readers-- for your patience.

**THE SECRET SOCIETIES OF OXFORD**

**~HOUSES FOUNDED 990 A.D~**

**CHARACTER INTRODUCTION**

_Sirius Black_

_Rosalind "Rosie" Aryanna_

_Regulus Black_

_Evan Rosier_

_Marilyn Ivanov_

_Remus Lupin_

** IMPORTANT INFORMATION **

_This work of fiction is a modern au, though there is still magic involved. However it is based around Oxford. I do not own any of the characters besides my OC's, the rest belong to JK Rowling respectively._

_Since this is an alternate universe of my creation, the characters will clearly be a bit different due to environmental factors. Such as Sirius will be different due to drug use, etc. but they will not be ooc. I will remain true to their original behaviors for the most part, but will be expanding with my own creative process._

**_ENJOY AND THANK YOU_ **


	2. Epigraph

It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive - to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.

\- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


	3. Prologue

**IDES OF MARCH**

**Sirius** glared at the calendar as if it offended him, by chance it did. The date had a long list of reminders, the top three of which were: spring was upon them, Julius Caesar was stabbed, and it'd been two years since his brother disappeared. He made to stand up quickly, the intent of scratching out the date in mind, but he grimaced with the movement. Clenching his teeth, he slowly made his way to the bathroom which was connected to the room he had been holing himself in. Grime clung to the edge of the yellow tiles, but the pain in his side clouded his disgust. _This place is a shit hole._

The dull sounds of traffic echoed outside the small window located above the shower, the glass murky, water stained, and if one were to look close enough they'd see dried blood spattered in one corner. Nudging the cabinet beneath the sink open with his foot, Sirius crouched down carefully as he searched for one of his many boxes of gauze. Not that it helped much, but he's ruined enough of his shirts already.

His phone sat lonely along the rim of the sink, the faux marble also yellowed with age. He'd shut it off a week ago, maybe two. Time lately seemed to muddle together in a blur. Sirius ignored all his messages, especially those from the Dean and Remus. Maybe they called, but no one had shown up to check on him in two weeks so he pushed the thought away.

Using the counter as leverage, he stood up carefully and fought off the dizziness threatening to overtake his senses. Looking up, his eyes squinted as light reflected in the mirror, momentarily blinding him. Blinking, his vision swam blue for a second before his form came into focus in the stained mirror. Everything in the dingy flat was tainted, though perhaps he was the most.

The bright light of day felt draining. Spring was supposed to be about renewal, but instead all it offered Sirius was muddied-stubborn snow and unwelcome memories. He reached for the mirror and tugged, opening the medical shelves behind it and screwed open a bottle of ambien, placing one on his tongue. Reaching for a glass he brought in, he held the red tinted plastic beneath the faucet, nearly letting it overflow just for the hell of it.

He swallowed the pill, not realizing how dry his mouth had been until the water greeted his tongue. Breathing in through his nose, Sirius carefully lifted his shirt which was stained black. The gash in his side was deep, long, and in desperate need of stitches. The sides were crusted with red and sickly green bruises fanned out from the swollen area. It'd leave a nasty scar, though at the moment Sirius wasn't even sure if it would heal. As he unwrapped the used gauze, the irritated skin was one of the many signs it was infected. Apathy washed over him however as he cut a new strip of the white fabric. He should turn his phone on and call Remus, Rosie, the hospital, anyone. Hell, even catch a cab to the emergency room.

The thought alone seemed overwhelming, he'd rather stay in his musty flat if it meant he could rest a little longer. Warning signs rang in his head as he re-wrapped his side, his eyes tracing along the other bruises and cuts that littered his much too pale skin. His veins appeared like blue lightening if he breathed in too deeply, his skin stretching thin over his ribs.

Sirius was a mess, his narcotic behavior appeared to only worsen in his isolation. The speckled mirror didn't show a lively twenty one year old on the brisk of discovery. Instead he was greeted with his chapped lips, sunken cheekbones, and red rimmed eyes. "I should eat something," his voice sounded too rough to his own ears. At the words, his stomach growled on cue, but the effort of walking down stairs to the kitchen felt exhausting.

Everything felt exhausting.

On impulse, Sirius dug his fingers into his side through the gauze, the pain rippling through him in a nauseating wave. His head swum and his consciousness slipped, darkness rearing its seductive head in the form of sleep. If he was knocked out, he wouldn't have to deal with anything. Especially not today.

For this Ides of March marked the two year anniversary of his brother going missing. As he collapsed to the floor with a thud, he supposed his real problems didn't start until last fall, with another disappearance and when Rosie Aryanna helped him search for the impossible.


	4. AUGUST ~ FIVE YEARS AGO

**__ ** ****

**_C H A P T E R O N E_ **

**"What** are you doing?"

At Regulus' words, Sirius froze and his brother stood in the doorway of his room, eyes blazing and confused as he looked at the bags his brother was packing. Panic shot through him as Sirius turned around, guilt painted on his face clear as day.

He swallowed thickly, " _no_."

"Reg, I'm sorry-"

Shaking his head, he stormed into the room and ripped the shirt Sirius was holding out of his hands, "you aren't leaving." His brother sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes, making anger flare in Regulus' heart. "It was _one_ fight," he bit through his teeth, his knuckles white as he held onto the shirt with dear life.

Sirius shook his head, looking torn between being exasperated and frustrated. "You know damn well it wasn't just one fight. There's been hundreds before and I'm not going to stick around for another hundred where I'm screamed at for being the family's disappointment."

He folded another pair of pants, a light laugh leaving his lips. "You know, she never gets tired of telling me she could've aborted me, "it's legal now" she says. It's not like I heard her the first fifty bloody times."

Regulus swallowed thickly as his brother had to tear the shirt from his grasp and he threw it into his suitcase, avoiding his eyes. "What about me?" his voice was hoarse, his heart breaking as more clothes piled in. Piece by piece, packing away his hope.

Scoffing, Sirius threw a few of his comics into a backpack. "What about _you_?"

Everything seemed to stop then, time, his breathing, his heart.

He stared at his brother incredulously before his dark gray eyes narrowed, "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Sirius whirled around, pointing a finger at him, "what problems are you going to have? You're the favorite after all, it's not like mum ever raises a hand to you. Now that I'm leaving all will be well and you lot can finally be the happy little fucking family you've always dreamed of being."

Before he could process what he was doing, Regulus' arm reared back and punched Sirius in the nose with a crack, sending his older brother staggering backward and he fell against his desk.

An ache shot through his knuckles and his eyes widened. Sure, they rough housed sometimes but never had either of them _actually_ hit one another.

Sirius blinked a few times, his eyes watering due to the pain and he touched his fingers beneath his nose, greeted by the warmth of blood. His cooler gray eyes shot up to Regulus, both trying to process, before he laughed.

Something snapped inside Regulus then, apathy washed over him like a tsunami wave and wiped away anything he could say that could possibly make the situation better.

Fury still churned deep in his heart, as well as betrayal. His brother didn't know half the shit he went through, because Regulus never told him, he never wanted him to worry. But now he was leaving him, abandoning him in their shared hell. Regulus flexed his hand, the bones cracking as he did so and he clenched his jaw.

"Fuck you," he spat.

Sirius stopped laughing then, and he took hold of the shirt Regulus had first grabbed and pressed it to his nose to stop the bleeding. They looked at each other for a long moment, waiting for something, anything, some sort of solution but both were too stubborn.

Brushing back his dark hair from his eyes, he looked at his little brother for one last moment before sighing, "get out of my room, I have packing to finish."

A sharp, defeated breath passed through Regulus' lips and it took every ounce of his energy to turn his back and walk away, slamming the door behind him. His feet pounded down the steps, the dark shining wood glaring at him from the chandeliers lights.

His mind was racing, he couldn't keep up. All the things he should've said hit him at once, carving away at his heart like a bullet. Part of him wanted to turn around and apologize but he stopped himself and ended up pacing back and forth in the drawing room on the first floor.

Regulus kept replaying what happened in his head, each time it got worse and worse and he felt sick when he realized he was truly going to be alone and he slammed his fist into the wall and he winced. But the pain kept him moving, it kept him distracted and he punched the wall again.

And again and again and again.

He snapped out of it when he heard wheels dropping along the steps and his whole arm was shaking as sweat dripped along his brow. Regulus looked down at his hand, the skin was split along his knuckles and blood seeped out like honey.

Looking at the wall, he had punched three holes and other areas were caved in, crimson flecks spattered over the area.

Regulus took a deep breath and walked to the door way and found Sirius standing in the entrance of the family lineage room, which had all the walls painted as a family tree. As if feeling his presence, Sirius turned and his eyes immediately went to his battered hand.

His mouth parted, as if to say something, maybe ask him if he was okay, but he didn't.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, yet within the blink of an eye Sirius righted the strap on his shoulder and gripped his suitcase, leaving out the door. The large wood shut with a soft click and Regulus squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the searing pulse shooting up his arm instead of the pain in his chest.

Walking to the lineage room on shaking legs, he fell against the door frame as his eyes landed on his brothers portrait, just next to his won.

Their mother had thrown a knife at the wall, the point of the blade digging into the wood and was wedged right between Sirius' eyes.

Time shifted in a blur and he found himself in Sirius' room, his drawers and closet emptied, his books half gone and some of his favorite posters now leaving a void on the walls.

Something on the floor caught his eye and he walked to the desk and felt his throat tighten as he bent down and grabbed hold of the bloodied shirt.

Regulus didn't realize it at first, but he was crying.


	5. PRESENT

****

_**C H A P T E R T W O** _

**Alcohol** slid down his throat, burning up his senses for only a moment, his eyes watering, before he slipped back into an intoxicated numbness.

 _You_ _need something stronger._

Sirius was already high as a kite, seeing as he took a hit before the party even started and down three pills some girl gave him.

Admittedly, the home in itself was large, but with the cramped and sweating bodies mixed with the husky air it felt no bigger than a broom closet.

Sirius brought the bottle of vodka to his lips again, stumbling over someone passed out on the floor. The wretched liquid slid down his chin, tickling his neck.

Swiping at it half heartedly with the back of his hand, he made his way into one of the sitting rooms.

Music was thudding loudly, his heart matching pace with the deafening bass. He briefly wondered if that was the only thing keeping him alive, until he remembered that's not how bodies worked. His body just wouldn't rest.

Still, the universe never did fail to throw him curve balls now and then. It had been a long day, he needed something despite his promise not to relapse.

Sirius hadn't been able to keep his promises lately.

There was a table nearby, people hunching over and laughing. _Get closer._ His feet guided him, taking another heavy gup and then his slate gray eyes landed on the fine white powder.

His heart lurched, everyone too out of it to even ask him to pay, a guy bit older than him laughing as he handed Sirius a rolled up dollar.

_Take it._

His fingers closed around it, he bent down and sucked in a harsh breath, dragging his head along the line. It hit him like a sledgehammer, immediately twining with that he already had in his system.

Finding solace in an empty spot on a couch, he flung himself down and finished the vodka before pressing the cool glass to his cheek. He felt like he was burning up and closed his eyes at the sensation.

His eyes snapped open not a second later as he felt a hand on his thigh. Rolling his head to the side it was a very pretty brunette girl with bronze skin, she smiled at him suggestively. He smirked, "hello darling."

"What's your name?" She called over the speakers, continuing to run her nails up down his leg in a tantalizing manner. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lightly grazed over her cheekbone and a lovely blush met her cheeks.

"Sirius, yours?"

When she frowned, he furrowed his brows, his mind sluggish so he couldn't figure out if he did something wrong. "Sirius Black? Aren't you that blokes brother? The one who went missing?"

All the liquor he had forced himself to guzzle down felt like it evaporated and he stiffened, shrugging her hands off him.

Coldness began to creep in again, and he nearly winced. He hated the cold, but ever since Regulus left he was in a constant state of winter. His bones felt rigid just as well as his heart.

He was in hell, and it had finally frozen over.

Sirius began to stand up but she hurriedly grabbed hold of his hand, her eyes fierce and she looked... sad. It disgusted him. What right did she have? "I'm sorry," she rushed out. "I'm Amelia by the way, but you can call me Amy."

He eyed her over and noticed she had a drink in her hand. HIs mouth began to water. "Can I?" Sirius gestured towards and she blinked, confused for a moment before she realized. "Oh, yeah of course."

The moment the cup was in his hand he downed it, it was some fruity margarita but the level of tequila in it was a sure welcome. Drinking it to the dregs, he crushed the flimsy plastic and threw it half heartedly on the floor.

Squeezing her hand that was still in his grip, his other hand slipped into her hair and he kissed her. Amy fell into it immediately, both too drunk to even recognize how sloppy it was.

Their bodies pressed together, almost painfully as the dancing crowd around them pulsed and surged. Music thudding in their ears, swelling in his head as he tripped.

"Amy dear, how about a bedroom?" He spoke against her lips, the air between them drenched with sweat and sin. She nodded dumbly, snatching another open mouthed kiss as they pushed their way towards the door.

Along the way they ran into a multitude of tables, knocking over vases and pictures. When they reached the stairs they fell over and laughter erupted from their lungs, his eyes watering and his cheeks tugged back painfully.

Lust, liquor, and pills were the best anesthetic.

At the end of the hall on the second floor he slammed her into the wall, a surprised and excited gasp leaving her lips as his mouth latched onto the soft spot beneath her jaw. "Sirius," she said breathlessly, hooking a leg around his waist and tugging on his locks of ebony hair.

He didn't pull away and she yanked, causing him to groan and kiss back up to her wanton lips. "Bedroom, now." Amy said against him.

Hooking a hand under her other knee, he lifted her up and stumbled to the door, searching for the knob blindly before it clicked open and they fell inside.

The crumbled to the floor, her body pressed against him and neither gave any mind to the bed that was only a few feet away. His hips ground against hers and she moaned his name, he didn't have time to take in the lovely sound as she flipped them over.

That's when he saw it, the calendar pinned on the wall.

_March fifteenth._

She began to unbutton his shirt. "Stop," his voice was dry, so weak it came out as a cracked whisper and she didn't hear him, continuing to kiss down his chest. He grabbed her hands and shoved her away, " _stop_."

Amy fell back on her backside, blinking up before tears started to well in her eyes. He knew it was only because she was drunk, but some guilt started to gnaw at his chest. "I'm sorry-" he reached for her but she shuffled away, hurriedly getting to her feet.

"No, no it's fine. I understand." Amy wiped at her tears but a whimper left her and she whirled around dashing out the door.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he fell on his back, yanking on his own hair till his scalp screamed in protest.

He didn't think as he slammed his own head into the hardwood floor, an incessant chant of _stupid_ _stupid_ _stupid_ _stupid_ leaving his lips in a mewl.

Then the hunger hit him. Coming to mind as a beautifully needle shaped fiend.

Forcing himself up to his feet, the muscles in his legs trembled as he made his way to the connected bathroom. Half of himself telling him to run, stop it, stop this foolishness and call someone.

But the other half was licking its lips in anticipation, luring him.

_Just one more step, there you go, you're doing so well, one more step and everything will be better._

What made it so much worse is that the voice in his head sounded like Regulus.

The bathroom door shut behind him.

_Lock it._

He did so with shaking hands before catching sight of himself in the mirror, his eyes bloodshot making the gray look silver and purple crescents laid idly.

Brushing his hair back, he dug into the inside pocket of his jacket, when his fingers wrapped around the container the comfort that filled him was sickening.

Sirius didn't care.

_Fuck them all._

Slumping to the floor, he brought out the needle, the brownish liquid glinting at him and he flicked the vial with his middle finger.

_You're so close._

He brought out the long strip of rubber, shrugging off his jacket and tying it on his bicep, he still had bruising from last time.

 _Tighter_.

Gripping the rubber with his teeth, he yanked it back until his pulse seemed to scream. When the needle went in, the cool slickness of the metal intruding into his veins, he pushed down and it invaded him with its teeth bared.

_There you go, that's the way to do it. Don't you feel better already?_

Sirius felt himself slipping, he grabbed his phone, fingers trembling as he clicked the picture of his best friend. It rang for a few seconds, fear trickling in that he wouldn't answer.

"Hello?" The voice sounded like static through the speakers, but it was familiar. Sirius made himself laugh, "Moony, hi."

There was a sigh, "what do you want, Sirius?"

"Oh we're doing our real names? I must be in trouble." He mused, sinking further into the cold tile.

"I can hear music... are you at a party?"

"Oh no, I've been found out." He couldn't feel his arm anymore.

Remus' voice became tense, "are you at a party? Are you okay? I know tonight is difficult-"

"Enough, I don't want to talk about what bloody day it is," Sirius bit.

 _If_ _you're mean to him now, it'll be a kindness later._

Sirius shook his head, he didn't want to be mean. He wasn't a bad person, he just got lost sometimes. "Look, I'm perfectly fine. Reg is here with me-"

"Sirius stop it."

"No no, shh just listen to me. Reg has been helping-"

" _Stop it_ , Sirius. Just stop it." He yelled, his breath heavy on the phone and Sirius swallowed thickly.

"You don't understand, Remus... it's easier to lose yourself in the bliss than deal with it all, dealing with life is exhausting. Isn't it?" He sighed, "I don't think I have the mental space anymore."

There was a heavy pause, and the fear that sounded in his friends voice troubled him. Why was he afraid?

"Sirius, listen to me. What have you taken?"

He choked out a sob, "Remus I think I'm dying."

"Where are you?"

"I don't... I don't know..."

And then it happened.

His phone slipped from his hand, clattering on the floor. Remus might've been yelling but he wasn't sure. The only thing he could feel were the hot tears burning into his skin like searing oil.

He remembered when this first happened, how scared he had been. _What the fuck,_ tearing through him. Now it was all he longed for.

Sliding down further against the wall, he rested his head against the cool rim of the bathtub, his breath starting to slow. He sucked in a shallow breath, but it felt like nothing was going in. There was nothing.

_You've ran out of oxygen, brother._

Sirius brows creased, his mouth gaping open and his lungs screamed. But he was silent, nothing but a tense pant leaving him.

Everything stopped then, the light in the bathroom faded into something dim. The music below ceased, he couldn't feel the beat through the floor anymore. He couldn't hear himself gasping for breath because he wasn't anymore. He couldn't feel his legs or his arms, his body was a mere empty vessel.

Sirius couldn't feel his heart any longer, his blood flow slowing as if a thick honey had been mixed in.

Finally he just _ceased_ , even his brain was silent. There was nothing.

It was bliss.

Everything fell away. Sinking, fading. His guilt, his longing for his brother, his ailments, his joys, terrible traumatising memories.

All of it, gone.

The door then slammed open, the lock swinging limply due to it now being broken.

His heart screamed in his ears again, his lungs taking in that breath of much needed air and it hurt. Life surging into him, it was disgusting and everything came crashing down, panic, nausea, guilt, anger, it was all too much.

His heart twisted in his chest like a knife as Remus took hold of him, dragging him to the toilet and shoving two fingers down his throat.

" _Talk to me_." Was being said, it might've been a whisper. Everything sounded so quiet.

The last thing he remembered before passing out was throwing up, Remus yelling at him, and Tonks crying silently in the door frame.


End file.
